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Advice request 3/29/16

Advice request 3/29/16

Reader:

"I got this little boo I've been dealing with since December. He's in the final stages of a divorce. They can't agree on his daughter's living arrangement. He recently as of 3 weeks ago got fired from our job. So, baby got a lot of shit going on. I understand this. I feel like I've know him my whole life and he feels the same way. Kind of creepy because I looked at our signs one day at it strongly implied soulmate connection. Anyway, I kind of feel attention deprived when he's not around. He's laid back and I honestly don't feel like he has another girl or anything he just isn't attentive enough when we're not together. I can call him and we'll have the greatest conversation at anytime but he act like if he has his daughter for the weekend, he can't shoot a text. But he lets me know that I can call or text him anytime. I think I'm use to dudes chasing me and he ain't like that. Lol. Smh. last night. I didn't here from him the whole weekend. He did have his daughter all weekend and he's currently at his mother's house since the divorce. But he act like he can't more than one thing at a time. As soon as his family time is up, he'll shoot me a text though. He'll be ready to come over and hang out. He cool when we're together. I know that he likes me but it's like a half ass relationship Thoughts?"

Carla Ashley

"Situationships are tough, but what's important is communication. If he doesn't know that its important that you don't feel excluded from his life outside of his daughter weekends then its going to continue this way. Try to express your concern to him. If he explains his reasoning to why he can't reciprocate communication then that's good and hopefully he can make more effort. If he ignores your concerns or calls you too "needy" then you have to decide if you're okay with him not being as available as you would like right now.

Timing could be another issue. Its awesome that he has made it clear of his interest in you leaving you with no doubt there, but right now he has a lot on his plate, finalizing divorce, while possibly trying to make the transition as smooth as possible for baby girl all while trying to hold it together as a man with no means of income. Right now may not be the most convenient time to expect more of him and maybe he'll be able to give you more of him once the dust has settled. As someone who has experience with a much similar situation, know that timing is everything and if you two are great for each other what's the harm in waiting to be happiest together once he has things in order rather than demanding the most of him when realistically he may be incapable of providing it at the moment. Not to say he never will be able to, but that "gotta have it all now" feeling can potentially do more harm than good. Patience is a personal weakness I have learned is a trait that we all must obtain. Give him the benefit of a doubt and communicate your needs. Then sit back and allow time for action.

Advice request 4/4/16

Advice request 3/16/16

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