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Advice request 3/16/16

Advice request 3/16/16

Reader:

"Been seeing a guy for the past 8 months. Someone I disclosed to and accepted the fact that I have herpes. We believe he even contracted it now, numbers are low, but his doc said he's positive. I really thought he was the one but I'm seeing red flags now. I'm at a crossroads. It so hard. I put my whole heart in it, more so because he accepted the diagnosis.

Having a hard time letting go but my brain knows what I need to do."

Carla Ashley:

"Okay so its good that you were able to get past the disclosure, kudos for taking that leap even if an entire 8 months ago. Some people go yrs and still don't attempt. He accepted you after disclosure, accepted the risk as well as all parts of you. Even better. Knowing the risk is 100% of coming to terms with your choices and actions. Seeking treatment which he has done is wonderful and I'm sure its also a positive (no pun) that you are supportive and familiar with the condition. Red flags....are those herpes related or not? That was not specified. If so, I hope he is not holding his transmission against you. If so, do not ever feel at fault. You have done the right thing up front by confiding this in him and leaving him with the choice. If there are other red flags, do not ignore them. You will regret it later.

The best guidance I can give you is actually within you, being a female, your intuition. It is something that we all feel internally and are blessed to have as a 6th sense. If things feel off to you and communication can not put things in order follow your gut. One big word of final advice, you may be reluctant leave because you may doubt that there is someone else who will accept your diagnosis. You thought he was the one because for so long you have thought no one would. Remember that feeling? The best news in the world is that someone else will. Trust that and believe it and don't let anything hold you back from doing what's best for you. Only you know what's best. Just do what will make you happy a year from now, today.

 

Advice request 3/29/16

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